Nickname The Phillie: Finalists
Posted by Tim Malcolm, Mon, July 21, 2008 02:22 PM | Comments: 42
Moniker, Posts
Two weeks ago I started asking you to give nicknames to five Phillies who really didn’t have any real nicknames. Some of the responses were hilarious (Ryan “Can’t hit a fucking off-speed pitch” Howard; “The Brown Sombrero”), some were very good, some … ehh … (You could’ve humored me with more Seanez material!)
But I narrowed the choices down to at least four for each player (I made it five for Werth, since I couldn’t leave out “Johnny Wacko,” I added some regular stand-bys for Howard, and I took out Happ, who was victim of a send-down during the nicknaming process), so now it’s up to you to vote for your favorites.
In the response to this post list your top choice from the finalists of each player. You can copy and paste this to fill in your choices:
Jayson Werth:
Kyle Kendrick:
Ryan Howard:
Rudy Seanez:
And now, the finalists.
Jayson Werth
The Patient
Speed Stick
High-Net
Jay Bird
Johnny Wacko
Kyle Kendrick
The Kid
Krazy K
Houdini
The Sink
Ryan Howard
K-How
Baby Huey
Giant Power
Airshow
UPS
The Big Man
Rudy Seanez
ColdStone
Black Belt
Cinderblock Head
The Chief
And just to put my two cents in, I’m uncertain with Werth; for Kendrick, The Kid (it seems as if that’s his name already); for Howard, I don’t know how I feel about giving Howard a nickname solely on his strikeouts when he is an amazing run producer; for Seanez, ColdStone.

















Posts: 0 christopher
werth: johnny wacko
kendrick: krazy k (it’s his real life nickname, don’t know why we’d need to come up with another one for him)
howard: sky high ry guy
seanez: the pool cleaner
Posted: 02:38 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 Griffin
werth: johnny wacko
kendrick: ABSTAIN
howard: the big man
seanez: the chief
Posted: 02:49 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 Mike T.
Werth: High Net
Kendrick: The Kid
Howard: K-How
Posted: 03:04 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 TJ
Werth: Johnny Wacko
Kendrick: The Kid
Ryan “Can’t hit a fucking off-speed pitch†Howard – I stand by it.
Posted: 03:09 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 Matt
Jayson Werth: Jay Bird
Kyle Kendrick: The Kid
Ryan Howard: The Big Man
Rudy Seanez:The Chief
Posted: 03:18 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 Rob E.
Werth: Johnny Wacko
Kendrick: The Kid
Ryan “Can’t hit a fucking off-speed pitch†Howard
Seanez: Cinderblock Head
Posted: 03:31 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 metsR#1
needing nicknames for your players. another example of how Phillie fans are the gayest
Posted: 03:32 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 PhillyGirlinMichigan
Werth – Johnny Wacko (but he eerily reminds me of the King Elf Elrond from LordoftheRings)
Kyle – The Kid
Ryan – Hmmm..don’t know. Blanton may wanna be called “the Big Man”
Rudy – I like ColdStone and Sitting Bull
Posted: 03:34 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 philsphan
Jayson Werth: The Patient
Kyle Kendrick: The Kid
Ryan Howard: The Big Man
Rudy Seanez: Black Belt
Posted: 03:36 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 cramer
Howard: k-today
Jayson Werth: J-Whack
Kyle Kendrick: K-Kid
Rudy Seanez: Ruby Rudy or Rude Rudy
Posted: 03:48 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 cramer
I got my “boo, fuck you” tshirt.
I LOVE IT
Make a boo fuck you mug
Posted: 03:50 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 Sammy
Jayson “Another Strikeout” Werth
Kyle “I might really be traded to Japan” Kendrick
Ryan “What’s the Glove for?” Howard
Rudy “Who?”Seanez
Posted: 03:57 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 Phil
metsR#1 why do you care, why are you here, do you not have anything better to do? Get a life, seriously.
Posted: 04:00 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 ASSHOLE
Werth-johnny wacko. Howard-the big man. Kendrick- #2 starter. Seanez-cinderblock head
Posted: 04:03 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 Margie
I vote for cinderblock head
Posted: 04:08 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 Bruce
Jayson Werth
The Patient
Kyle Kendrick
The Sink
Ryan Howard
Giant Power
Rudy Seanez
Black Belt
Posted: 04:52 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 Chase
Jayson Werth – Johnny Wacko
Kyle Kendrick – The Sink
Ryan Howard – K-How
Rudy Seanez – Cinderblock head
Posted: 05:22 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 NEPA
When I submitted “Johnny Wacko” for Werth I was just joking but apparently it has a nice little cult following now. My choices are:
Werth: Jay Bird
Kendrick: The Kid
Howard: K-How
Seanez: Chief
Posted: 05:35 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 Jason
Werth– Abstain
Kendrick — The Kid
Howard — The Big Man
Seanez — The Chief
Lets be honest any of the other ones wouldnt stick.
And if K-How wins for Howard, you have the wrong type of fans reading this website.
Posted: 06:30 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 Fran
Jayson Werth: JAY BIRD
Kyle Kendrick: The Kid
Ryan Howard: UPS
Rudy Seanez: Cheif
Posted: 07:02 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 Jay
Jayson Werth
Johnny Wacko
Kyle Kendrick
The Kid
Ryan Howard
The Big Man
Rudy Seanez
Chief
Posted: 07:36 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 ryan
love UPS for howard. makes sense on so many levels. first of all, he actually physically resembles a UPS truck. and second, he knows how to deliver.
disappointed we couldn’t come up with anything in regards to his obscenely gigantic nose however.
Posted: 08:56 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 mets123
are you phillie fans seriously gay enough to be making up nicknames for your players?wow leave it to the announcers fags
Posted: 09:13 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 Lewisauce
Jayson Werth: Johnny Wacko
Kyle Kendrick: The Kid
Ryan Howard: K-How
Rudy Seanez: The Real Deal
Posted: 09:26 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 Lewisauce
And mets123 is obviously latently homosexual.
Posted: 09:26 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 NateB
Jay-Bird
Krazy K
The Big Man
The Chief
Posted: 09:35 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 philajen
Jayson Werth: Definitely Johnny Wacko- I witnessed it at a bar in Pittsburgh. He’s Creepy
Kyle Kendrick: The Kid
Ryan Howard: The Big Man although my friends and I call him “The Breeze” for when he strikes out
Rudy Seanez: Chief
Posted: 11:03 PM on July 21, 2008
Posts: 0 KM
Werth – captain gay beard
Kendrick – “everybody hits, woohoo”
Howard – I like the one about the offspeed pitch
Seanez – my future landscaper
Posted: 12:21 AM on July 22, 2008
Posts: 0 TypicalMetsFan
All I know how to do is make gay jokes! Gay! Gay! Gay!
Posted: 02:23 AM on July 22, 2008
Posts: 0 JohnnyWacko
Who’s Jason Werth?
Posted: 02:25 AM on July 22, 2008
Posts: 0 ActuallyChilled
Jayson Werth: johnny wacko
Kyle Kendrick: the kid
Ryan Howard: k-how krush
Rudy Seanez: cinderblock head
Posted: 08:58 AM on July 22, 2008
Posts: 0 late entry
ryan howard: rhrh (obviously, ryan homerun howard – cause he’s still a champ even with the k’s)
lou marson: the arson
Posted: 09:32 AM on July 22, 2008
Posts: 0 philliefan3452
you cant call kyle kendrick the kid.ted williams and ken griffey jr are the kids and their we all know kyle kendrick isnt in that league.
Posted: 09:51 AM on July 22, 2008
Posts: 0 ped
jayson stark just picked the phils to win the nl east over on espn. check out the debate, there’s some angry mets fans:
http://proxy.espn.go.com/chat/chatESPN?event_id=21637
Posted: 10:06 AM on July 22, 2008
Posts: 558 Brian Michael
werth: Speed Stick
kendrick: Krazy K
howard: The Big Man
seanez: ColdStone (chad cordero from the nats is the chief, if he ever plays again)
Posted: 11:13 AM on July 22, 2008
Posts: 0 Sandy
Werth: Johnny Wacko (it just fits)
Kendrick: The Kid (regardless of who else has gone by that name in the past, he doesn’t strike out enough people to have a nickname featuring the letter “K”)
Howard: I still vote for Big Brown, as politically incorrect as it may be
Seanez: The Chief (I have seen him pitch like twice this year if that, I have no idea).
Mets fans: “Uncreative Douches Who Have Nothing Better To Do”
Posted: 12:21 PM on July 22, 2008
Posts: 0 Jeff M
Jayson Werth: johnny wacko (how can this not be his nickname)
Kyle Kendrick: the kid (It just works)
Ryan Howard: Airshow (This works too. He either hits it far or there is a big “air” breeze… it works. We have to give him some props for his HR ability)
Rudy Seanez: The chief (I just like calling him chief)
Posted: 12:28 PM on July 22, 2008
Posts: 0 Don M
I don’t think Rudy Seanez deserves a nickname.. which is why I submitted “THE WHO?”
Im pretty sure they call Kendrick, The Kid.. so I say we stick with that..
Werth has been clutch a few times with his bat this year.. and that combined with his figure.. I submitted “STICK”.. and then rambled off “SPEED STICK” because he can swipe some bags too..
Johnny Wacko just doesn’t do anything for me..
Ryan Howard.. K-How is the funniest.. and I think Harry K calls him THE BIG MAN.. so we would have a hard time convincing others to call him anything different
Posted: 12:33 PM on July 22, 2008
Posts: 0 KM
the best nickname for werth is definitely captain gay beard . . . he’s like a wild pirate with a truly terrible goatee.
Posted: 01:36 PM on July 22, 2008
Posts: 0 sean
Jayson Werth:Jhonny Wacko
Kyle Kendrick: The Kid
Ryan Howard:The Big Man
Rudy Seanez:The Chief
Posted: 02:13 PM on July 22, 2008
Posts: 0 that guy
Jayson werth IS johnny wacko. Although I am partial to “vagina chin”. Seanez has to be “cinderblockhead”. Anyone who disagrees on the seanez issue has obviously never seen his enormous square head.
Posted: 03:29 PM on July 22, 2008
Posts: 0 Bking
Jimmy Rollins- Jroll or wishlist
Jayson Werth- J Dub
Chase Utley- Chase Clutchy
Ryan Howard- Big Brown
Pat Burrell- Pat “Buisness” Burrell or Pat the Bat or Bat
Shane Victorino- The FLyin Hawaiin
Pedro Feliz- pvp
Carlos ruiz- Carlos “chooch” Ruiz
Posted: 04:02 PM on October 1, 2008