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Roy Oswalt the Pussyboy

Posted by Corey Seidman, Mon, July 26, 2010 05:16 PM | Comments: 50
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I’ve been re-watching the first and only season of Aaron Sorkin’s brilliant “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,” and in one of the first four shows, Bradley Whitford’s character refers to Matthew Perry’s character as a “pussyboy.”

The word itself is great, but the context and delivery of the line was so perfect that it will forever remain in my vocabulary.

Coincidentally, two days later, Roy Oswalt‘s seemingly endless slew of demands and preferences reached its apex, when he revealed his desire to avoid a big-market team – code for the Phillies.

Maybe Oswalt likes dealing with one beat writer, maybe he likes pitching in front of 10,000 fans. Maybe he likes playing under no pressure at all and maybe hecklers make him cry. I don’t know. But any self-respecting pitcher that wants to win and wants out of a bad situation has absolutely no business seeking a low-pressure situation.

According to “sources close to Oswalt,” as reported by Ken Rosenthal, the righthander has no interest in Philadelphia. Rosenthal went on to write that a deal for Oswalt is appearing more and more unlikely.

Let’s outline the various demands of Roy the Pussyboy™:

  1. He wants out of Houston
  2. He wants his $16MM option for 2012 picked up by his new team
  3. He prefers St. Louis because he wants to stay in the South
  4. He wants to be traded AFTER becoming the Astros’ all-time wins leader, a records he is two wins shy of and will not be able to break
  5. He does not want to play in a big market
  6. He has little interest in playing in Philadelphia
  7. He wants to be able to keep his Astros uniform
  8. He wants his new team to buy him a private jet
  9. He wants to take his talents to South Beach
  10. He wants to be the new spokesman for Kotex

Okay, so the last four are fake but the first six are very real.

Roy Oswalt is a pitcher with chronic back problems that have required multiple cortisone shots over the years. No team wants to immediately pick up his 2012 option and no team should be required to if they are already picking up his huge salary and parting with young players. Oswalt is making it very hard on his own team to retain him, but even harder for it to trade him.

I’m sorry if me calling Roy Oswalt a pussyboy has offended you but this is getting pretty ridiculous.

 
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  • Posts: 0 Aaron

    Easier to say now, but we should had traded Werth for replenish the farm system in the beginning of the year rather than Lee and then D Brown would had a whole year in the majors, which he showed in spring training he was ready for. We wouldn’t be stuck in this predicament then. At this point we should just give up on Oswalt and just work with what we got.

     
  • Posts: 0 Smokey

    Oh well, we already have a pitcher named Roy who is several times the man Oswalt will ever be.

     
  • Posts: 0 Ed Wade

    Roy likes boys..

     
  • Posts: 0 WorldFudgeChamp

    We also have to look at the fact that he does have that no trade clause that allows me to have a better chance to go where it best suits him and his family. Say what you want about him but if we get Oswalt the Top three pitchers would be Halladay, Hamels, and Oswalt or H20

     
  • Posts: 0 WorldFudgeChamp

    I ment him not me

     
  • Posts: 0 Bobby D

    How come there can be an entire thread with the word “pussyboy” in the title but I get moderated for using a similar word to describe espn’s commentators?

    Unfair. Also, Oswalt is a pussyboy.

     
  • Posts: 0 The Dipsy

    Oswalt thinks he has control but he doesn’t. He did drop his requirement that the team he gets traded to pick up his 2012 option, Corey. Not that I think any team would have picked it up. I think Roy knows that if he starts making things too difficult, the Astros may not be able to trade him. And Roy wants out (despite the posturing) and Ed Wade, if not the owner, wants him gone. Trading Oswalt to St. Louis doesn’t make sense for Houston since they are in the same division. I think if Ruben waits Wade out, he could get him for Happ plus a couple of fair to midland prospects (Carpenter, Mathieson, Savery, etc) instead of a Cosart, Worley type.

    The Dipsy

     
  • Posts: 0 miked63

    I DONT WANT A GUY WHO IS AFRAID OF THE PRESSURE . YOUR WORD FOR HIM IS TOTALLY APPROPIATE. HAAP IS YOUNGER , LEFT HANDED , AND HAS A BETTER ERA THAN OSWALT OVER THE LAST COUPLE YEARS.
    I KNOW OSWALT GOES AGAINST OTHER TEAMS #1′S AND THAT EXPLAINS HIS WON LOSS RECORD NOT BEING AS GOOD AS HAAP. BUT ERA IS ERA , HAAP IS MUCH YOUNGER AND LEFT HANDED LIKE I SAID EARLIER. I REALLY THINK HAAP IN A FEW YEARS IS GONNA BE ONE OF THE BETTER YOUNG LEFTYS IN BASEBALL , KEEP HAAP , HELL WITH PUSSY BOY .

     
  • Posts: 0 jose

    enano del culo k se quede en houston

     
  • Posts: 0 Repeat

    He does have the right to choose. But he har a bad back. Main reason he wants the option picked up. Plus he feels the Cards pitching coach can make him a better pitcher. Hes not coming to Philly. F him.

     
  • Posts: 0 Brooks

    Corey does not like Roy Oswalt. Neither do I. He’ll be 33 this year and to me, does not even closely resemble one of the top NL pitchers as he once was.

    His salary demands, his back problems – too much money to invest for what we don’t know is still a quality product.

    I’d say leave it alone now and I believe that Ruben will not pursuit this option or he already would have sealed the deal.

     
  • Posts: 0 bfo_33

    Corey – one line summed up the whole thing – “But any self-respecting pitcher that wants to win and wants out of a bad situation has absolutely no business seeking a low-pressure situation.”
    I don’t want Oswalt, would rather stand pat with our starters. We may not see 4 straight wins from starters again this year, but KK/Happ/Blanton have performed pretty well in high pressure situations over the past few years. Hamels is approaching dominating, and Doc is Doc. Despite Lidge’s blip yesterday, the bullpen has been reliable.
    Only 4-1/2 games back, and we aren’t playing a 0.500 team for a while (unfortunately, either is Atl, so it may take a while to make up ground). Get a game a week, be tied with Atl Sept 1st, and let the best team win.

     
  • Posts: 0 therookie300

    Oswalt is appearing to be a b***h just like Jake Peavy was being when the trade rumors swirled around him. I say pass on Oswalt since he won’t be able to handle it here. Maybe look for a another Blanton type starter.

     
  • Posts: 0 Chuck

    At times yesterday Blanton looked good and other times (like the 1st inning) he didn’t. All in all, a decent Blanton-like outing. He needed that W for his confidence, if nothing else. I’m ok with him down the stretch.

    Kendrick. I think he has shown that he CAN pitch in big games (NYY, COL) and he has stunk it up in others. But he’s really an ok bottom of the rotation guy. I mean, who else would you put out there?

    Happ. I think HE is the key to this rotation right now. Is he healthy? Is he not? Trading him, at one point, was thought to be something that the Phillies really didn’t want to do. But now, if you can use him to get Oswalt (without the 2012 option demand, of course) AND you don’t have to give up Werth to do it……then maybe you do the deal.

    Here’s the thing….IF he really doesn’t want to come to Philly, do we really want him here? Or….. can he be convinced to come and then won over once he is here? I will say this….IF the Cards get him, they would have to be considered the favorites for the NL pennant.

     
  • Posts: 0 bostonkate

    This post was beyond brilliant and I got a good laugh out of the last few ‘items’ on the list.

    There is no doubt that a hallday-hamels-oswalt rotation would be a kick ass 1 2 3 punch. Now if someone like Halladay, or even Hamels made these demands, I could see it. Regardless of the way things have been going for us the past month or so, the Phillies are still THE team to beat. 3 NL championships in a row. 2 world series runs in a row. The way I see it, oswalt simply doesn’t care about winning big time. And doesn’t want to deal with the scrutiny of winning big time (I.e. Major media market). So I say screw him.

    I find it hilarious he has this holier-than-thou attitude, but all signs point to him not wanting to win. The team is getting their feet back on the ground. Why bring someone who blatantly doesn’t want to be here and screw negatively with the chemistry of the already solid foundation?

     
  • Posts: 0 Stu

    If Oswald does not want to come here then we should move on to Ted Lilly or someone else. I don’t want to see him melt down in games down the stretch because he can’t take the pressure.

     
  • Posts: 0 Chuck

    All of these so-called “demands” could just be posturing on the part of Oswalt. How could ANY player be labeled as someone that doesn’t “want to win”?? I think that IF Oswalt were to come here he would get caught up really fast in the winning and competitive atmosphere here.

     
  • Posts: 0 Bart Shart

    I personally will boo and hiss in the stands every time “pussyboy” pitches. I do not want him here. He does not belong and it will be a big mistake to bring “pussyboy” to Philly. He will never live down the nickname Corey has given him. He will be miserable. He is a petite power pitcher getting old fast and it will be a financial disaster to get “pussyboy” in pinstripes. He is a big mistake.

     
  • Posts: 0 Bart Shart

    Why is my comment awaiting moderation? I have said nothing wrong.

     
  • Posts: 0 Chuck

    According to MLBTR the Rockies could be sellers and names like Jorge de la Rosa, Aaron Cook and Joe Beimel have surfaced.

     
  • Posts: 0 George

    Lilly in CBP would be a disaster; he’s a flyball pitcher whose velocity has dropped.

    I think a lot of Oswalt’s “demands” are posturing. They seem to change daily. First he said the option had to be picked up; then he said the contract could be restructured. First he said Philadelphia was out, then he said location didn’t matter. It’s possible that if he whines enough, Houston management will be forced to lower their ridiculous asking price, and he can then actually be traded. For what the Astros are currently demanding, no GM in his right mind would deal.

    Despite seeming to be a wuss with a bad back and bad attitude, Oswalt does still have some nasty stuff and a good idea of how to use it. He’s pitched in some real pennant races, and could be quite valuable. If the Phils could get him without picking up the option, and without giving up a boatload of talent, he might fit in better than his contradictory statements would seem to indicate.

    I’m thinking, too, that sportswriters have a habit of sensationalizing everything. These things are all rumors, and not items on which a person’s machismo should be questioned.

     
  • Posts: 0 NJ

    ‘IF’ the Rox are in sell mode how about De La Rosa who’s an impending type B free agent…?

     
  • Posts: 0 George

    Cook, de la Rosa, Beimel.

    Who cares.

     
  • Posts: 0 Chuck

    I’m not sure if I DO care. But it’s 3 more names POSSIBLY added to the pretty thin menu of available pitchers.

     
  • Posts: 0 NickFromGermantown

    I have definitely soured on Oswalt. This guy has acted like a total joke. It’s a shame Haren is off the market, but he has his own issues as well.

    I’d go back to a plea for Cliff Lee, but at this point the horse has been beaten beyond recognition more than once within 12 months.

     
  • Posts: 0 The Original Chuck P

    De La Rosa would be a nice addition… he was on the DL for a large stretch this season with a finger injury and struggled when he came back but pitched well in his last outing and would be a bona fide #3 for us. I would feel pretty good about Halladay, Hamels, De La Rosa, Blanton/Happ. If we could add him for peanuts, it would make a lot of sense… I would definitely consider it. Cheap, low risk and plenty of upside with De La Soul.

    Maybe they’ll throw in Carlos Gonzalez (he said sarcastically)… that kid can play.

     
  • Posts: 0 Bacardipr05

    I read for several sources that the Oswalt demands are been exaggerated. This is most likely Rosenthal doing. We may never know who is telling the truth. Sources said Oswalt said he prefer the Cards but it doesnt matter and doesnt want to be a Yankee. I say loo

     
  • Posts: 0 NJ

    Oswalt is going to cost maybe not a terrible package but he won’t come cheap in players/prospects and salary. To me De La Rosa seems to most cost-effective way of addressing a starter to put with Halladay and Cole in the short-term and the Phils will be in a position to be aggressive in the off-season.

     
  • Posts: 0 Evan

    It was only a rumor that Oswalt said he didn’t want to pitch in Philly, no one has proved that. He has personally said he will go anywhere as long as they pick up his $16mil 2012 option.

    If you had the option of doing the same job a few thousand miles away for the same amount of money would you want to move? How about if there was some sort of financial incentive?

    It’s an asshole move to call him a pussyboy. The guy has a no-trade clause and he’s treating his job like it is a job. It’d be nice if he wanted to come to Philly to win, but its not like the Phils are a sure thing for the playoffs. The guy wants to get paid, don’t take it so personally.

     
  • Posts: 0 George

    “The thin menu of available pitchers” is not improved by adding more tasteless entrees.

     
  • Posts: 0 Bacardipr05

    sorry meant to say the should look for a competent # 3 starter..we hopefully already have our #1 and #2 guy….

     
  • Posts: 0 George

    de la Rosa has had “upside” for years now. Lots of Ks doesn’t mean he’s a proven winner. I’ll take proven, thank you.

     
  • Posts: 0 Chuck

    Yeah, he DID have a good record last year at 16-9, but his ERA was close to 4.5 and his WHIP close to 1.4. I mean, is he really any better than Blanton, Happ or Kendrick at this point?

     
  • [...] now Yahoo! Sports is telling us that not only does Oswalt not want to play in Philadelphia–*GASP*–but they’ve got a beat on several other pitchers–Dave Bush, Paul [...]

     
  • Posts: 0 Brooks

    Chuck – you said a lot of things I’d like to respond to.
    Regarding Happ – I think he gave up way too many line drives. Fortunate that most were catchable. He needs more time that we cannot afford him.

    Blanton, he is looking better. After a very shaky first inning yesterday, that was it. He is improving.

    Your right about Kendrick – as a 5th starter he’s on, he’s off – but that is probably all you can expect.

    On to the Cards – You talk about a 1-2 starting punch? How about 1,2 & 3? Between Wainright (top CY candidate after Jimenez finishes collapsing), Carpenter & Garcia – the trio are 34-12 with a combined ERA of only 2.62 (Carpenter’s ERA is the highest at 3.09). The relief core of McClellan (2.03 ERA in 42 games), Motte (2.38 ERA in 43 games) and Boggs (2.44 ERA in 40 games) plus love him or hate him Franklin with 18 saves in 19 SVO.. Offense is more limited this year – hard to believe when you have Puljos and Halliday on your team – but, 2nd base is weak for them, SS is terrible and Yady is having an bland year. Rasmus and Freese are filling some of the gaps but they need a SS badly.

    I too don’t want Oswalt but we need another starter and we need to swap up Danys Baez and Herndon for Mathiason and Figgy – (he didnt get picked up somewhere did he?). We have enough offense if all keep coming around, we just need to tighten up the arms.

     
  • Posts: 0 NJ

    Point made George, what would you like to see happen now? Would you rather the Phils commit the salary and Happ plus prospects for Oswalt over a cheap addition like De La Rosa who’s an outstanding pitcher on his day.

     
  • Posts: 0 The Original Chuck P

    De La Rosa is capable of going toe to toe with anyone… this was supposed to be his breakout season and he showed signs of that early on (until his injury). It’s not a typical Phillies move (they usually go the safe route in situations like this; innings eaters and low ceiling guys) but I would do it.

     
  • Posts: 0 The Original Chuck P

    Figgy is in Houston.

     
  • Posts: 0 Bacardipr05

    Brooks Figgy was picked up by Astros…another mistake by RAJ…the guy was pitching pretty good…and was an experienced reliever….

     
  • Posts: 0 George

    I really don’t see de la Rosa as an upgrade.

    Unfortunately, to upgrade, a team has to give up more. But if it costs Happ, multiple high ceiling prospects, and Oswalt’s option year, I’d pass. If Happ is healthy and gets his command under control, there’s no reason to trade for a starter.

    Those are some big “ifs,” though.

     
  • Posts: 0 Roy Oswalt

    Yes, its really me. I’m sure you will not believe it. My buddy told me that this site had wrote some terrible things about me. Cory, do you know me? Who are you. Thats right. This is a reason I rather play elswhere. Good luck with the site.

    Roy Oswalt

     
  • Posts: 0 NJ

    releasing Figgy wasn’t a mistake. A roster move had to be made in the bullpen and Herndon has too much future value to have returned him to LA.

     
  • Posts: 0 Glutenous

    Its okay roy. Youre a professional athlete that makes millions of dollars. You mean to tell me you can’t handle a little criticism or heckling? Hell you are a pussyboy. With that attitude we don’t even want you here ;D

     
  • Posts: 0 Bacardipr05

    Ehh rather had seen Baez released NJ says….im not feeling Delarosa

     
  • [...] Nation has had it with Roy Oswalt’s trade demands, its giving him a LeBron James and Chris Paul [...]

     
  • Posts: 0 Brian Sr. of CO

    “avoid a big-market team – code for the Phillies.” Sorry but if you consider the Phillies a “big-market team” the St Louis Cardinals are also a “big-market team”. I think that is more wanting to avoid the Yankmees or the Red Sox.

     
  • Posts: 0 Karen

    I agree with you. Let’s hope amaro also agrees. Knowing nothing about him before now, may alter my impression of him but let him stay in Houston

     
  • Posts: 0 Karen

    If this guy was as great as he thinks he is, other teams would be in the mix. His record is 6-12. Yes, the team stinks but Seattle stank too and lee had better record.

     
  • Posts: 0 Pete

    so are all you morons going to boo Oswalt in his first start at home?

    release Raul! release Raul!

     
  • Posts: 0 SJHaack

    Man, this article looks even worse now than it did 3 days ago.

    Congrats.

     
 
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