New York Mets (60-68) at Philadelphia Phillies (83-44)
Benedick: That [Kyle Kendrick pitches], I thank h[im]; that [he wins], I likewise give [him] most humble thanks. But that I will have a recheat winded in my forehead or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick, all [Kendricks] shall pardon me. Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust none. And the fine is, for the which I may go the finer, I will live a bachelor.
Prince: I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with [Kendrick].
Benedick: With [Halladay], with [Lee], or with [Hamels], my lord, not with [Kendrick]. Prove that ever I lose more blood with love than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker’s pen and hang me up at the door of a brothel house for the sign of blind [Kendrick].
Prince: Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument.
Benedick: If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot at me, and he that his me, let him be clapped on the shoulder and called Adam.
Prince: Well, as time shall try. In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.
Benedick: The savage bull may, but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull’s horns and set them in my forehead, and let me be vilely painted, and in such great letters as they write “Here is good horse to hire” let them signify under my sign “Here you may see Benedick the [Kendrick fan].”
Claudio: If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad.
Prince: Nay, if [Kendrick] have not spent all his quiver in [Coors Field], thou wilt quake for this shortly.
Benedick: I will look for an earthquake too, then.
Lineup: Victorino CF, Polanco 3B, Utley 2B, Howard 1B, Pence RF, Mayberry, Jr LF, Ruiz C, Martinez SS, Kendrick P
Your Gameday Beer – Pinnacle Vodka
Let’s face it: if you’re drinking at 1:05 on a Wednesday, you’ve probably either got a serious problem or you’re in college. So let’s not fool ourselves by recommending beer. Here’s today’s drinking game:
Do a shot if you see Mike Pelfrey’s mouth guard.
Do a shot if Hunter Pence swings at a pitch out of the zone.
Do a shot every time you catch yourself staring at Tony No-Dad’s bubble butt.
Do a shot for every out Exxon makes on a ground ball (two shots for a double play).
Do a shot every time Sarge makes you think about food.
Do a shot for every W.B. Mason commercial. Not because it’ll be fun, but because it’ll help you dull the pain.
– By Michael